Off Sides

Off Sides (Off, #1)Off Sides by Sawyer Bennett

My rating: 1 of 5 stars

DNF @ 56%

I can’t force myself through another second of this. I really thought I would be able to power through it so I could include it in my challenge, but I can’t. This may be the worst book I have ever (almost) read.

I have pages of notes and no desire to actually review this so I am literally just going to type up my notes and silly quotes that I highlighted.

1. This book is the definition of insta-love. They go on one date and they’re both obsessed with each other, but apparently that one date was enough to solidify their relationship because the next time they see each other they’re “breaking up.” Then of course, they immediately make up and 30 minutes later Ryan is offering to pay for her to go back to Julliard. “I can help you, Danny. Pay for the expenses.” Not weird, at all. Eye roll. It takes them like 3 seconds to become boyfriend and girlfriend.

2. Ryan gets turned on every time Danny refers to him as her boyfriend.

3. The book needs an editor. Badly. Countless typos. No contractions. It’s awkward.

4. Ryan and his friends chat like a bunch of hormonal women.

5. VIRGIN TROPE ALERT. Duh. Of course Danny is a virgin. And she wants Ryan to take her virginity after a week.

6. Ryan compliments Danny an absurd amount of times. STFU already.

This book was crazy cheesy. I’ll let these quotes speak for themselves.

“Her t-shirt hugs her amazing upper body curves.”

“Our tongues are swirling… Stabbing.”

Ryan asks her to play violin and she has a breakdown. This is like 30 minutes into their second meeting:

“Ryan eventually picks me up and carries me into the living room. He sitting on the couch with me in his lap and continues to soothe me. I lay my head on his chest and let him and I revel in the cocoon of understanding he is giving me. My tears eventually dry, but Ryan continues stroking my hair, my arms, my face. He kisses my temple, my cheek, and the corner of my mouth, then squeezes me in a hug. I have never felt more cherished in my life.”

“I have a bedside lamp on with a red scarf thrown over the top and it provides incredible romantic lighting.”

“Maneuvering until he’s kneeling in between my legs, his hands reach the button of my jeans. He looks up at me. “Can I?” “I’ll die if you don’t.”

Ryan: “Last night was amazing. It was one of the greatest sexual experience of my life and I didn’t even get off.”

Ryan: “You are a class act, toots.”

“I rewarded him with a kiss full of nips and bites which had both of us groaning.”

To summarize:

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