Illuminae (The Illuminae Files, #1) by Amie Kaufman, Jay Kristoff

Illuminae (The Illuminae Files, #1)Illuminae by Amie Kaufman
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I didn’t think I was going to like this because the formatting is BIZARRE and it’s 599 pages. But have you seen this book, guys? It’s gorgeous! So I bought it anyway (only $12 on Amazon!)!

The book is written as if it’s a collection of documents regarding the incident that took place on Kady’s planet and the ships the survivors evacuate on. There’s very little traditional book going on. It’s transcripts of instant messages, emails, computer files, and memos. I’ve never read anything like it… And I loved it.

The only thing that kept me from giving this 5 stars was AIDAN. AIDAN was annoying as all get out. It rambled on and waxed poetic about the meaning of life and other dumb shit. It was painful. Amie Kaufman must have written him. The Starbound Trilogy was equally trite.

Anyway, order this or run to your local bookstore now. This book is phenomenal and despite it’s almost 600 pages, you won’t be able to put it down.

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Adulthood Is a Myth: A “Sarah’s Scribbles” Collection by Sarah Andersen

Adulthood Is a Myth: A Adulthood Is a Myth: A “Sarah’s Scribbles” Collection by Sarah Andersen
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

I received this book via NetGalley in exchange for an honest review.

I really enjoyed this. I thought it was relatable, funny, and well done. I laughed several times. I thought OMG. That’s so true several times. However, I’m just not sure why this is a book. It’s extremely short and took me less than 10 minutes to read. It was very unsatisfying as well. I didn’t feel like the comics were super cohesive or really had all that much to do with each other other than having the same theme. It didn’t feel like a story was being told.

It seems like this book would be better as a serial or individual blog posts. While, I really enjoyed the comics, it seems like a lot of their “weight” was lost by reading one in 15 seconds, laughing, and immediately turning the same thing to repeat the process.

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The Mother Road by Meghan Quinn

The Mother RoadThe Mother Road by Meghan Quinn
My rating: 4 of 5 stars

I was raised to be a Southern Lady. My mom taught me manners, how to sew, how to cook, how to be a good hostess, etc. I wasn’t quite a debutante, but I got a pretty good “education.” To my mom’s dismay I’m also somewhat crass and enjoy a good dirty joke, but you know what I don’t like? TOILET HUMOR. We NEVER EVER talked about bodily functions in my family growing up and it’s something I’m still uncomfortable talking about with ANYONE. This book is absolutely hilarious, but full of jokes about things that I can’t even type. Things that boys do and think are funny. Those things. Gross. BUT… I loved this story and these characters so much, but the excess toilet humor didn’t piss me off enough to put this down.

I loved Marley and her evolution from tom boy to beauty blogger. I loved her dedication to her career and her love for her family. I loved Bernie and his presidential cursing. I loved Diva Paul and his drama. I definitely loved Porter and his quiet determination and love for Marley and the rest of the McManns. Thee characters’ relationships with one another were so heartwarming and funny.

This book was so funny and so lovely. I wish I could Eternal Sunshine it from my mind and read it again.

Also hot sex and road trips. Obviously.

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Did I Mention I Need You? (The DIMILY Trilogy, #2) Read My rating: 1 of 5 stars [ 2 of 5 stars ] 3 of 5 stars 4 of 5 stars 5 of 5 stars Preview Did I Mention I Need You? (The DIMILY Trilogy #2) by Estelle Maskame

Did I Mention I Need You? (The DIMILY Trilogy, #2)Did I Mention I Need You? by Estelle Maskame
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

Minor spoilers ahead… I guess. To be honest, there’s not really much of a plot here at all so I’m not sure how much can be spoiled, but anyway, you’ve been warned.

So the book opens a year later and we (the readers) have missed all of the good stuff. Eden has been dating Dean for the duration of her and Tyler’s separation and Tyler has been on his tour/living in New York. We are never given any insight into how these events transpired- which sucks. Eden is just all of a sudden in love with Dean, though still trying to get over Tyler. Tyler is revealed to have all of a sudden snapped out of his teenage angst and developed a sunny disposition over the course of the year, but we’re never let in on how this happens.

Eden spends the entire book alternating between being a total asshole by cheating on Dean and overreacting to every little thing that is or could threaten her burgeoning relationship with Tyler. Tyler spends the entire book either being an asshole by sleeping with his best friend’s girl or obsessing over Eden to the point where he films himself talking about her and how great she is for 4 hours. Literally. As in that is the number of hours of tape he uses according to the book. It’s not a number I made up to exaggerate how obsessed with Eden he is. FOUR HOURS.

There’s not a lot going on here. Eden meets Tyler’s roommate, Snake, who we are never really given any backstory on except that he’s from Boston. Then, Tyler’s friend, Emily, from the tour shows up and needs a place to stay. Eden is, of course, very threatened by Emily despite Tyler and Emily both swearing up and that they’re just friends with a super strong bond. This bond is created by some event that occurred on tour that is never revealed in the book. The book does a lot of alluding and implying, but never really gets around to actually giving the reader any idea what brought the events that are transpiring to fruition. It makes everything seem thin. I never fully fell into the world because I felt excluded. There was so much I wasn’t in on- so much withheld information.

The end of this book is utterly infuriating, but not unexpected. Obviously since it’s a trilogy it was going to have a cliffhanger. And obviously since this author seems to consistently pull conflict out of thin air, the cliffhanger was going to be a fight and decision completely out of nowhere and inconsistent with the actions of the characters for the entirety of the novel.

This book sucks, but I gave it 2 stars because something about it makes me want to see it through. I guess I would say this book is like toast. It’s fine, and everyone kind of likes it. You eat a couple bites of it when it’s included with your omelet or bacon and hash browns at breakfast just because it’s on your plate, but it’s nothing to get excited about. No one gets out of bed for toast.

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