Me Before You (Me Before You, #1) by Jojo Moyes

Me Before You (Me Before You, #1)Me Before You by Jojo Moyes
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

And no tears were shed. I am made of stone.

It wasn’t so much that I didn’t enjoy this, as much as it was I felt like I could have enjoyed it more.

First of all, the blurb is incredibly misleading. Romance, my ass. The “romance” (if you can even call it that) in this book was terrible. It was my least favorite thing about the book. This book didn’t need a romance. Will and Louisa didn’t need to fall in love for this book to accomplish what it set out to. Their loved seemed rushed and undeveloped- as if the author decided to throw it in at the last minute even though it wasn’t in her outline. I didn’t feel like it made sense, it wasn’t necessary, and it wasn’t well done. I was hoping this book would have been similar to The Year We Fell Down. It wasn’t.

I somehow enjoyed reading about the daily minutia of Louisa and Will’s lives. Lou was a quirky character. I liked her a lot. I didn’t feel the same way as other people did- that she was silly and had no desire to do any better for herself. I think the world needs all kind of people and it’s OK to live in the same town you grew up in as long as it makes you happy.

The book was very well written and I get why people like it, but the 8 billion 5 star reviews led me to believe it would be more earth shattering than it was. I did not cry- not one single tear- despite the fact that seemed to be what the book set out to make me do (with it’s Nicholas Sparks letter at the end and all). It didn’t make me reexamine any of my choices or relationships or actually really feel anything. When I read the last sentence and closed the book my thoughts were something along the lines of: “That was nice. What’s next?”

Call Me, Maybe by Ellie Cahill, Liz Czukas

Call Me, MaybeCall Me, Maybe by Ellie Cahill
My rating: 1 of 5 stars

I really disliked this. The first couple chapters or so were rather cute, but then as Justin and Clementine got more and more serious for no obvious reason, I got more and more aggravated.

These two characters have no chemistry. I didn’t feel anything the entire time I was reading a novel. It might as well have been a chemistry text book for how interested I was in it. I have never been so tempted to DNF a book at 93%. I just didn’t know if I could take the monotony any more.

The book was filled with random minutia about Clementine’s day-to-day life and her struggles as a poor little rich girl trying to figure out what she wants to do with her life. I wish the book would have spent more of its time building a relationship between Justin and Clementine than it would have with pandering to the book reviewer audience. I absolutely hated the “Clementine is a book reviewer/blogger” story line. It always makes it seem like an author is trying way too hard to make the character relate-able.

No one in this book was unbearable. The characters were likable. I liked Clementine and I liked Justin. I just didn’t understand why they liked each other. They just all of a sudden do. Clementine shares a couple text messages and several 3 minute phone calls with the guy and she’s suddenly confident enough in his character to have phone sex with him despite her previous scandal. It just wasn’t believable to me. The characters have sex on the first date and suddenly seem so into each other that they want to spend all of their free time together despite not really knowing all that much about each other. The author didn’t do a very good job building their relationship. I didn’t believe in it so it wasn’t something I wanted to read about.

In summary: I found this book extraordinarily dull.

I received this book via netgalley in exchange for an honest review.

Rhythm, Chord & Malykhin by Mariana Zapata

Rhythm, Chord & MalykhinRhythm, Chord & Malykhin by Mariana Zapata
My rating: 3 of 5 stars

If I was the type of person that could ignore multiple instances of misogyny, transphobia, homophobia, and slut-shaming then I may have given this book 5 stars. It has everything I like: great characters, road trips, musicians, comedy, interesting side characters, an interesting storyline, a slow burn romance; but I can’t let it go. I can’t. It was AWFUL. For whatever reason, the author felt compelled to have her characters demoralize anyone and everyone who isn’t a cisgendered male. It’s not ok for women to be called sluts and whores over and over again. It’s not ok for someone wish someone would “have sex with a transvestite” or to think it’s funny when someone is hit on by a person who is transgendered. It is completely beyond me why that’s hilarious ans succcchhhh a great insult. I guess transgendered folks should just lock themselves inside and never interact with other people. They certainly shouldn’t have a sexuality or show romantic interest in another person. HOW DARE THEY?!

I’m sorry. This is getting ranty, but it makes me so upset that I couldn’t have enjoyed this book without feeling guilty about it. I liked it, but I shouldn’t have because the amount of hate written in its pages is disgusting.

I’ll leave you with this, from the queen herself:

Storm (Ashes & Embers, #1)

Storm (Ashes & Embers, #1)Storm by Carian Cole
My rating: 2 of 5 stars

I really wanted to like this book more than I did because I think the premise is so cool. Two strangers get trapped in a snow storm and are pretty much forced to be friends.

The reasons I was disappointed with this can pretty much be summed up into 2 categories:

A) I recently read The Friend Zone and The Deal. These 2 book are 24 karat new adult fiction. They’re arguably 2 of the best NA novels out there. I loved both of them. This book shouldn’t be in the same library as those 2. Honestly, I think I would have enjoyed Storm more had I not already experienced The Friend Zone and The Deal. For what it is, it’s pretty OK new adult if you can get past the next category in my review.

B) Cheating. Evelyn is a cheater. Starting at 14% into it. Don’t get me wrong, I loathe cheating. I think it’s wrong even if the character’s boyfriend is a total scumbag who treats her like human garbage (which he is and does in Storm). BUT I can tolerate sometimes in novels if it doesn’t go on for too long. The cheating in this book goes on FOREVER. Somehow everyone in the book is at least semi-OK with it and doesn’t think Evelyn is a total jerk. (view spoiler)

Regardless, I could have tolerated the cheating, but it’s basically the whole plot of the book- which sucked. She doesn’t actually leave her boyfriend until 85% into the book and by then it’s mostly over. You don’t get much time to actually get to know Storm and Evelyn as a couple. (hide spoiler)]

Regardless, I think a lot of new adult fans who don’t mind cheating (or even like it) will really enjoy this book. It was pretty standard and didn’t totally make me want to rip my eyeballs out for all the eyerolling NA sometimes makes me want to do.

OK, I lied. One more reason because I am the boss of this and can do what I want.

C) Storm Valentine is Edward Cullen creepy. He does so many creepy things and thinks they’re romantic. He breaks into her house to take care of her. Watches her sleep. Makes super lewd and inappropriate comments to a woman he barely knows. It was not OK and the only reason I ignored it was because I know the difference between right/wrong and fantasy/reality in stories. I can suspend belief and keep reading because it doesn’t change my idea of what an appropriate relationship should actually look like. But to be clear, there were more than a handful of times where Storm did super creepy things that made me yell, “WHAT IN THE ACTUAL FUCK?” at my kindle.