Perfect Summer (The Lone Stars #1)

Perfect Summer (The Lone Stars #1)

author: Katie Graykowski
name: Crazy. Something. Maybe.
average rating: 3.83
book published: 2013
rating: 1
read at: 2014/03/19
date added: 2014/08/29
shelves: dnf, famous, fiction, hell-no, insta-love, new-adult, rich-kid, romance, sports, wtf, worst-books-ever
review:
This was one of the most annoying books I’ve ever (almost) read. Get ready for me to RAGE-review this because it made me furious. No clue where to even start so I’m just going to break it down:

Lilly:
Why in the world is the Lilly/Davis subplot included? I have zero interest in reading about someone’s mom’s love life. I feel like I was kind of tricked into this. I read the first couple of “Lilly chapters” and then decided I didn’t care enough and completely skipped them. I know I am an asshole, but I am 26 and want to read books about young, attractive people. This book gave me no indication that it would include a subplot about a 50 year old bitch in lingerie and I refuse to be tricked into reading about one.

Clint:
At first, I really liked Clint. Clint was hot. I was imagining this:


(No clue who this person is, but I googled “hot nfl players” and agreed with the internet’s assessment of this man’s attractiveness.)

Thennnnnnnn Clint is described as tucking his OU tshirt into his jeans and he immediately became this:


(Peyton Manning. DO.NOT.WANT.)

Yuck. Now it’s like I’m reading about someone’s dad having dirty sex. No thank you. No longer hot.

Summer:
There is not a woman in this world who is actually attractive who is as insecure as Summer is. WHAT. THE. FRACK? She whines and whines and whines about how ugly and fat she is and over and over and over again Clint tells her how beautiful she is and how hot everyone else thinks she is.

Sample conversation:
Summer: Ohh my gawd, Clint. I’m soooo ugly. I look soooo fat.
Clint: Summer, you’re so hot. I love your boobs. That guy is eye screwing you and that guy is eye screwing you and that guy is too!

I got so sick of Clint telling her that other men are eye screwing her that I wanted to jump into the book and do this:

She is so unsure that she’s attractive that I’M SURE that Summer must actually be a dog and Clint is trolling her. No woman who is supposedly that hot has ZERO idea that she’s attractive. Any woman who is even remotely NOT HIDEOUS is shown SOME attention at some point in her life. This book is written as if no one has ever paid Summer a compliment. In fact, it’s as if every man she has ever encountered has insulted her appearance. Because that’s really the only way I can think of that a woman would be so obnoxiously self-deprecating. Good Lord, at first it was sad and cute, but then it became more and more infuriating. Slowly, I began to hate Summer.

To be honest, I haven’t actually finished the book at this point and am hoping that something awful happens to her. Because all of her whining and self-pity and insecurity is no longer worthy of my sympathy. I AM NOW FURIOUS AND FULL OF HATE AND RAGE.

Oh my Morgan Freeman. I CANNOT TAKE ONE MORE SINGLE SECOND OF THIS. Is there a contest for most annoying literary character? Can I nominate Summer Ames? Can the prize be that every book with her written in it is burned in a giant bonfire on live TV?

DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF. DNF.

UGHHHHH. I hate myself. I finished it. It didn’t get better. Kill me.

Remember When (Remember When #1) by T. Torrest

Remember When is the first book in a new adult trilogy by T. Torrest. The novel is told from the perspective of Layla, a 17 year old high school senior, living in small town New Jersey in the early 1990s. The story details her friendship with Trip Wiley (then Terrence C. Wilmington III, Trip for short) before he was the super-famous actor he is today.

Wow. I don’t even know how to explain how I feel about this book. I loved it so incredibly much. I feel like this:

However, there are 3 reasons why I almost didn’t give it a chance:

1. The synopsis does a terrible job of capturing the essence of the book. It implies the book is light and fluffy and silly. It’s not. It’s funny, and insightful, and heartfelt. It perfectly captures how confusing relationships can be in high school.
2. The title is trite and overdone.
3. The cover design is awful.

I’m almost angry that I don’t feel like these 3 things give the book a fair shake. The content is wonderful, but if you’re judging a book by its cover, you may pass this one by.

The more I think about this book and the more time that passes since I read it, the more I adore it. I was back in high school while turning these pages. I was remembering how terrifying my first love was and how I was so paralyzed by the thought of saying how I felt and losing him or doing the wrong thing and losing him. I believed these characters. I believed in their voices, feelings for each other, their confusion, and their fears. Everything about this felt so real and poignant.

I have never read a book that more succinctly and perfectly captured how confusing relationships can be when you’re so young and inexperienced- the fear and excitement of it all.

I loved Layla to death. Her voice is so finely tuned that I feel like she was my best friend in high school. She was innocent and sweet, while somehow simultaneously being witty and almost-edgy (not quite). She was very real. She was definitely multi-faceted- three-dimensional. The author allowed her to be so many things. She drank, but she made good grades. She was damaged, but she wasn’t drowning. She was cool, but still sometimes so awkward in her thoughts and interactions with Trip that you cringed for her. The development of this character was fascinating and wonderful.

I’m so sad that this is only available in eBook format. Until I own in it paper form, I will live in fear that my eBook copy will somehow get corrupted and the author will remove the book from the internet and I won’t be able to re-download it. This is the kind of book that you keep forever. It’s the kind of book that you re-read every once in a while. It’s the kind of book that you want to loan to everyone. **I FOUND THE PRINT VERSION ON AMAZON! SO RELIEVED!**

Would I recommend this book? Yes, to everyone.

Opal (Lux, #3)

Opal (Lux, #3)

author: Jennifer L. Armentrout
name: Crazy. Something. Maybe.
average rating: 4.42
book published: 2012
rating: 1
read at: 2014/08/26
date added: 2014/08/26
shelves:
review:
NOTHING HAPPENED.

Seriously. Nothing. This book was x pages of filler. WHAT THE FRACK? I don’t get it at all.

Regardless, the book blogger/review aspect of this series infuriates me. It’s like the author wants us to like it sooooo badly. Like me! Please. Look how cool Katy is! She’s just like you!

Katy is the ultimate Mary Sue. GTFO!

I don’t actually like any of these characters. I keep reading because

Isla and the Happily Ever After (Anna and the French Kiss, #3)

Isla and the Happily Ever After (Anna and the French Kiss, #3)

author: Stephanie Perkins
name: Crazy. Something. Maybe.
average rating: 4.37
book published: 2014
rating: 4
read at: 2014/08/22
date added: 2014/08/22
shelves: best-book-boyfriends, coming-of-age, contemporary, emo, fiction, high-school, insta-love, insta-sex, romance, young-adult
review:
I am begrudgingly giving this book 4 stars. It was fine, but I also hated it. It is, without a doubt, my least favorite book in this series.

This is not going to be so much a review as it’s going to be a ranty list that I compare to my life. I’m about to make this about me. You’ve been warned.

It took a really long time for me to reconcile the Josh in this book with the Josh of Lola and Anna. He just seemed completely different in this one to me. The Josh in Lola and Anna was less severe. He was quiet, he was unassuming, and he was almost meek. The Josh in Isla is a leading man. He’s self assured, he knows what he wants, and he’s brave. Even his physical appearance seemed different. I hadn’t imagined Josh as this tall, dark, and handsome type. Josh seemed like a boy to me in the previous books, not a man like in this one.

Isla and Josh are a terrible couple. You know why? Because they’re both fracking crazy. Josh is this overly emotional artist type (AKA, my first boyfriend) and Isla is a neurotic mess with low self esteem (AKA me at 16). This relationship would crash and burn in 6 months- tops. You can’t have 2 crazy people in a relationship. You just can’t. They just create an endless loop of drama. One person has to be the anchor. I am neurotic, easily frustrated, and I have a short fuse (I am also very self-assured. AKA no longer a teenager). My husband is exactly the opposite of that. So while I am going ballistic because traffic is bad and we’re only going to be 15 minutes early to the movie, my husband is calmly driving the car and refusing to acknowledge the insanity I’m spewing. THERE CAN ONLY BE ONE CRAZY PERSON PER RELATIONSHIP.

I wanted to shake Isla and tell her to snap out of it. When I was 16 my mother told me something that deeply affected me. I had just been dumped by my overly emotional artist type boyfriend and I was going through a period of super low self esteem. She said, “you’re never going to be any younger or any more beautiful than you are now. The world is never going to be any more open to you than it is now. You’re never going to have more opportunity to decide who you are than you do now. You can do anything and be anything. Enjoy it. Don’t waste your time being insecure. This is who you are and it’s as good as it’s going to get. Embrace it.” This GREATLY affected my view of myself. Isla needs to have a talk with my mom because she annoyed the shit out of me.

Things Isla does:
1. Obsesses over a boy without talking to him because why would he like her?
2. [spoilers removed]
3. Is a jerk to people who love her (Kurt and Hattie).

Things Isla does not do:
1. Make decisions.
2. Love herself.
3. Have adult conversations with her significant other regarding her fears and issues.

But there’s no love triangle! Woo hoo!

Additionally, the beginning of this book is a lot to take. Josh and Isla are so over the top innnn lovvvvveeeeeee that it was like Perkins spliced together every “aw” scene from every rom-com ever. If I were to read 1 chapter of the beginning of this book every day it would probably be my favorite ever because the scenes are so romantic and dreamy. But together? Together it’s almost cheesy. I kind of wanted to vomit a couple of times.

But overall, this was a pretty good read and I’m glad I spent the $11. I think people who are less put off by the characters will really enjoy it. Josh and Isla are just too people that I would likely really dislike in real life so I had a hard time getting past it.

Beautiful Creatures (Caster Chronicles, #1)

Beautiful Creatures (Caster Chronicles, #1)

author: Kami Garcia
name: Crazy. Something. Maybe.
average rating: 3.77
book published: 2009
rating: 2
read at: 2014/08/01
date added: 2014/08/01
shelves: coming-of-age, fantasy, families, fiction, insta-love, no-sex, paranormal, supernatural, young-adult
review:
I had been meaning to read this for a long time. After seeing the movie (which wasn’t very good, but had a GREAT ending. Seriously, way better than the book.) I was convinced that I would love this series.

I was wrong.

This is going to be a quick review because I struggled to get through this book. I wanted to quit over and over again.

This book had so much going on- usually not a problem, but it is when it’s not explained very well. The world-building in this is awful. I don’t understand any of the rules.

It’s story driven and not character driven. The authors had a habit of telling not showing. I know that Lena and Ethan were in love because I was told they were, but did I feel it? No. Did I understand why? Absolutely not.

I do not feel like I know any of the characters. They were very poorly developed. I did not connect to a single one. Everyone in this novel was completely one-dimensional.

Ethan was a terrible character. You know the story about a girl who meets a guy and becomes completely infatuated with him to the point that she gives up everything she used to love for him? Then at the end she realizes that in order to really find love you have to be true to yourself? Ethan is the male version of this trope, except he doesn’t realize jack shit at the end.

Ethan gives up everything he likes; basketball, his friends- in order to be with Lena because they’re so in lurveeee. Who is Ethan without Lena now? His entire life starts to revolve around her as soon as they meet.

I was bored. I kept reading because I had anticipated reading this so much and convinced myself that it would get better. It didn’t. I will not be continuing the series.